My life as a single dad




Being a single dad at 41 years old is very hard at times. I sit there and think sometimes where has time gone. I been divorced since 2003. My ex wife was abusive to me and my kids. I got full custody at the time I was 21.  Many years later in 2008 my 12 year old was born but her mother was heavy into drugs. My 12 year old daughter has adhd and level three autism. My oldest daughter just turned 18 and my son is 19. After all the years of raising the kids without their mothers I feel it’s been a journey a long one. Over the years I tried dating but none worked out like I wanted. Here I am 41 single two of my kids are grown. I spend a lot of time alone. I tried online dating but had no luck. I have a passion for writing. It’s why I don’t mind writing about my life. Being 41 still not having a woman to settle with I admit it gets to me I get very lonely. I don’t even know if the type of love I am looking for still exists. I hold on to hope that I find the right one. This world has changed a lot over the years so it is going to be harder to find the right one in today’s society. Drop me some comments i want to know what you think true love is. Please feel free to comment I am waiting to hear from you. I know love is out there I know I’m not the only one that’s. Lonely never give up hope because the right one could be closer then you think hold on to that hope and faith I tell myself that everyday.  Leave some comments I want to hear your story to. here is a picture of me. Thank you for those that read my blog every word in it is about my life. It’s hard on a daily basis wanting to settle down with a woman and hard part is finding one and the loneliness. I tried out tinder. I do not like online dating it’s a pain. I have to believe there is some one out there for us all I’m getting old hope to find someone.  
I been through a divorce had full custody of all three of my kids I was young back then gave my life up for my kids. Believe me it was not easy. But they turned out ok I do raise a 12 year old autistic child she’s my world I love all my kids. If you want to see more of my story comment ask some questions I will answer them. Back when I was younger at 18 I was in a Jeep with my friends. We were hit by a drunk driver causing the Jeep  to flip and roll several times. It’s caused me a lot of grief I have injuries to my back and neck. There was a point I couldn’t use my legs anymore raising my kids in a wheel chair with no help. But I did it and I didn’t stop until I could walk again. But I live with bad pain in my back n neck and legs at times. Here I am at 41 years old alive. I am grateful for that. It was and still is a journey being a dad. I’m a little afraid of sending my 12 year old to school with the corona virus going around. I just hope she will be ok. This whole thing has ruined lives I wish our government would get it together.  My high school days was a bit rough. The school at the time felt it would be better to skip 8 th grade and put me in 9th grade.  I wore glasses and was short. Got picked on A lot but in the end I graduated in 1997 with honors. Bullying  is never ok. Even my high school gym teacher made fun of me and humiliated me in front of the class he put his hands on me n shoved me. At the time my parents took care of that. I had students asking. Me to type papers for them when they seen how nice mine was. High school was not all bad. After high school I went to Kent state university. While being a dad. I learned a lot of new things. I majored in computer science and accounting and did some college geography and sociology had some neat writing classes. At the time my sister was getting my kids off the school bus she lived right by us then five minutes later I would show up on the city buses. Her man at the time wanted her to stop getting my kids off the bus. So having no one to get them I made the sacrifice of leaving school. Life is not fair sometimes. I do not regret any of it.  I miss when my kids was little they was so adorable and would giggle at me n hug me and play with my beard. Those was the best time of my life. Well later on my best friend from childhood died of cancer at a young age and I lost my grandfather to. I decided to move me and the kids to Texas Corpus Christi. I spent a lot of time with my kids at the beaches and was greeted by a different culture. We met a lot of Mexican Americans. Some showed up at the door with plates of food it was so good. We went to the beaches regularly the gulf waters were so blue n beautiful. How I miss it. Five years later I had some heart trouble and passed out in the floor while kids was asleep. I managed to crawl to my cordless phone and called 911 they saved my life. I decided being there with no family. I moved back home to Ohio. Now I have good doctors and my heart is doing better even though a month ago I tried mowing my grass on a hot day I have a front yard and a field in the back. I didn’t finish it I gave bad asthma and very allergic to pollen. By the time I got back in my house I sat at kitchen table unable to breath. My son called 911. My heart rate had sky rocketed and my asthma was flared up bad. I almost passed out I was taken by ambulance my youngest daughter cried and cried I felt helpless that I could not comfort her. I spent a few days in the hospital. Felt like years in there. But I was glad to be home when I got out. Want to read more of my life leave me some comments I love hearing from ya.  Sometimes as a parent we worry a lot. I worry about all my kids with today’s shooting and things like that going on. I pray everyday for the kids. I can remember when when my son was preschool age. I fed him oatmeal for breakfast that day. Before his bus came I was playing with him by chasing him up and down the hallway making him giggle. His bus came no sooner then he got in the bus. I get a call from the bus driver. My son had leaned forward on the bus and puked all over the kid in front of him. I still remember those days. I took my oldest kids to A&W they was still in pull ups. We went there to eat. The root beer was always ice cold so was the mugs. Well the kids finished my root beer. Then I ordered another. Big mistake when we got home. The kids had pooped their diapers up. It was awful but my fault lol.  Now those days are gone my two older kids are grown. My 12 year old as I mentioned before. Has adhd and level three autism. She is a bright kid. She likes to watch Disney plus with me. I can not help it every time we go to the store I buy her something let her pick out snacks. She loves rainbows it her favorite thing. I try and teach her somethings as she’s becoming a young woman. With out a woman around it is going to be tough.  I got her a tablet with Alexa in it. She’s done figured it out.  I miss my 18 year old daughter a lot. She lives in an apartment moved out after she graduated high school. She works in food service. Two different ones. I worry about her and pray she does not get attacked or hurt or catch the corona virus. She is doing good for herself. My son still lives with me I been trying to get him to go back to school. Parenting never ends no matter what age they are. Drop me some comments would love to hear from ya. As much time has past that I been alone I watch a lot of movies on my roku tv. Horror movies mostly but I watch love story movies to. I sit there wondering is my day going to come to know what it’s like to be in love. Will I meet the right woman. Life has given me my share of pain and sadness also has giving me happiness along the way. Of course I love  my kids more then anything.  I find myself wanting to meet someone. I am 41 years old I do not want to be alone the rest of my life not knowing what it is to really find the love of my life someone to hold me. I am the type of guy that likes to give roses to a woman. As well as my heart. It’s been broken a lot. Lately when I go to sleep I dream of having a woman that loves me then I wake up. I feel sad. But I still get up feed my twelve year old daughter. And start my day. I am scared I will never find love but I can not give up hope.  Please drop me some comments I love hearing from my readers. Wow I never knew how hard things get to me my son found a home he’s moving out this week. Then I had a woman ask me what I think love is. I told her love comes from the heart love is growing old together and loving one another. Love is cuddling at night holding each other Love is comforting the one you love after a bad day. Well love means a lot of things.   Getting people to read my blog is hard work to those that read it thank you. Today has been interesting I got a call from a movie producer about my horror novel I am trying to finish I hope they like it I could use the money. Feel free to comment I want to hear from you Wow I woke up today got a message on my twitter account a woman tried flirting with me told me she was married and looking for a lover I blocked her. What is wrong with people?  I guess today was not so bad. I met a beautiful woman who liked my pics on Facebook we chatted on hangouts for a few hours. Hope it leads somewhere. We never know each day where life will take us or who we may meet or who’s life we change.  Post your comments I love to hear from my readers. Weekend was good visited my cousin and his wife. I hate it sometimes not having no woman to love. Being lonely not only sucks it hurts. Dating sites are useless they over charge you. Depending on which site you go to I guess drop me some comments I want to hear from you.

Wow today i realized there is 300 readers on my blog.  Its cool to know people read it. Today it was hot out. I have bad asthma and allergic to pollen in the air which sets off my asthma. Today was one of those days i did laundry and checked my mail i started having breathing problems but i took my medications and my inhaler. I am doing better. Again thank you to those that have read my blog. Damn I learn something new everyday. There is women who message me and try and get me to like them and ask me to go on hangouts then ask for lots of money claiming I’m the one for them it’s a big scam. I call them out on it to. This world is falling to pieces shootings everyday on the news. I pray God will protect us all.  My advice for the day if you have someone to love hold on to it you definitely do not want the pain of being alone i live with it everyday.  Today was ok except for the migraine I had. I watched a lot of episodes of the show cobra Kai was really good. Leave me some comments I would love to hear from you. This blog is about my life daily.  It’s not tragic it’s life sometimes  we all have bad things happen and we learn from it and it makes us stronger. Everything you read about me made me stronger. I got knocked down kept getting back up over and over someday I will have everything figured out. Life was never meant to be easy nothing is truly easy. In life we are constantly learning things no matter what situation we are in life. Drop me some comments. My ex wife use to treat me so bad I sat after work at 3 am with my head buried in the table trying to cope with her. She hurt me and my kids bad. But good thing is I do not have to deal with her again.  My youngest daughters mom cheated on me. She did drugs to so me and my youngest daughter left.  I met a few ladies in Texas while I lived there. I loved one of them very much. Sadly she didn’t love me. I hope before my time is up on this earth that I’ll find the right woman. When I was In Texas I prayed for God to help me find a church. Next day I got a knock at the door it was elders from the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It changed my life forever brought me closer to God all my kids were baptized so was I. 
Today we still like the church they have them here in Ohio we used to go before all that Covid stuff started. I pray everyday of my life. I have seen many blessings in my life despite all the bad things I have had to deal with in my life. I wonder why it’s so hard to find true love can anyone answer that?  I miss having a woman to hold at night and buy roses for. Sadly I do not know what love feels like because I never met anyone willing to love. I’m ready to settle down in my life.please leave me comments. My advice for today is live life to the fullest hold your loved one.  If you don’t have anyone I am sure you will find one. Love comes easy to some of us and it does not always happen when we want it to. That’s where faith comes in. Have faith everyday never let go of it. When you do find love hold on to it for the rest of your life. Everything i been through in my life I wouldn’t change none of it. My kids love me. My heart is half empty needs to find love. Please comment or share your story or ask me any questions Goodnight world. Today was long I got my daughter on the bus watched a movie. Life seems to get more lonesome at times. I talked to a few church elders today on zoom. Their always nice to talk to.  They prayed with me and shared a few scriptures. Knowing God is with us. I know eventually I will meet the right woman. My advice for tonight have faith hold on to it. Leave me some comments or questions I love hearing from my readers. Today was long I got up put my daughter on the bus. I also paid my internet and cell bill. I hope more people read this blog. I went to the store picked up somethings.  Wore my cloth mask it was hot out and hot inside the store. Does bad in my asthma. I really hope to meet a good woman someday. This being lonely is getting to me. Don’t get me wrong I love my kids but I also need the love of a good woman. If you have a good person to love hold on to them. Its been a while since i updated this. I been dealing with trying to cope with being alone. Hopefuly things in life will get better this has not been my year. Today is 9/11 it’s been 19 years already how country has changed in many bad ways. But having faith in God is what helps me through my life. I found out me and youngest daughter will be moving in the 30th. And into a good place. I hope everything works out. 
Moving in my new place on November 2nd gonna work on finishing my book my son will be living with us to. I’m praying we do good there and have a good holiday. I hate being single but hope to meet someone.
I can not wait to setup my apartment its going to look nice. I found out today even celebrities are seeking love. I was talking to one on my twitter account. To my readers my journey continues.  Today has been a little rough been having chest pain in my heart hope I’ll be ok you never know what life will throw at you live life to the fullest.  Life works in ways we all know wether it’s paying bills or buying food it’s very stressful especially trying to pay $2000 for my townhouse to rent having health problems and moving stuff is a challenge. I must say I miss having a women to cuddle with. Life for me gets lonely sometimes but I will never give up on life it’s a gift from God. To be alive to go through good times and bad times. I never give up on hope or faith. I moved in my new place bills are not bad here. I hope to meet a woman and live happily here our place is nice I love it. I have hope things will get better. If you have a partner in your life who loves you treasure it and hold on to it. Being alone is very rough on me and others who feel what I do. Never giving up on faith and hope is what helps me get through each day.Thanksgiving day was awful for me. Long ago when I was a child my father left us and my sisters father left to. My mother remarried to a man when I was nine years old. However his family did not accept me and my sister because we had different dads. In return we was treated very poorly when his family visited we were told to stay in our rooms. They never accepted us we were just kids of course we cried we didn’t know why we was being treated like that. This thanksgiving I told my older kids I was making a nice thanksgiving meal I suffered some heart problems and broken ribs during a power outage weeks prior. My oldest daughter n son got drunk didn’t come over instead my daughter ended up at my step dads side of the family. They have put me through a living hell luring in my daughter with gifts n other things she’s 18 doesn’t know that they are not who they appear to be that whole family hurt me and my sister bad now they are working in my daughter to hurt me. Life is hard sometimes I admit to had a hard time coping with everything. I learned to try and let things go because in life we go through hard things and losses. I realized no matter how bad it hurts I have to have hope and not give up. This thanksgiving was ruined snd I dropped all my turkey on the floor I was shaking n crying it ended up in the floor. I tried to warn my daughter my step dads family ate no good but she is grown snd will do as she pleases. I broke down n told my mother how I felt we all have a purpose in life I’m still trying to find mine being single snd 41 years old having no wife or companionship hurts my advice is if you have someone who loves you treasure it hold on to it. Loving others is part of life. I wish I could make my pain go away I do not know what to do. 

Comments

  1. Dear Admin, Very informative post! I am thankful to you for providing this unique information. Health Tips

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  2. What is true love. It is all full of compromises and hard work. And the older you get the less you settle for bs. That is why it gets harder and harder. Don't give up (also not online dating, I met my husband on Tinder lol). Keep writing if that helps you. Write your story!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ohhhh....
    What the fate!
    Indeed u r a great father ...
    Keep writing up
    It will heel u.trust me

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  6. Yes there is love for everyone one out there no matter how the world has changed. I'm so sorry for what you and the kids had been through and I'm rooting for you to find that love.

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  7. Things will be fine for sure. You are a fighter 👍🏻 and you will survive. Keep writing your heart out. Brave of you. Keep up.

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